Today, Women’s Wear Daily took years off my life with the news that David Lynch will be directing the TV campaign for Gucci’s next fragrance. I’ll say it again, and maybe this time I’ll believe it: Gucci has hired the world’s most bizarre director for their eponymous new scent, tentatively set to debut this fall. A statement from Proctor & Gamble Prestige Products (Gucci’s beauty licensee) reads as follows: “Lynch was selected for his holistic ability as an artist, his professional experience and knowledge, his never-ending research for beautiful images, his use of music and his modernity.” Good people at Gucci, please allow me to congratulate you on your daring choice. David Lynch is brilliant (if deranged) and I’m giddy with excitement at where he chooses to take this campaign. My guess? An isolated dark place in a small town, complete with flickering lights, a tragic heroine who leads a double-life and an unsettlingly beautiful soundtrack. As for Lynch’s trademark use of deformities and realistic violence, I’m guessing that Gucci will politely decline their use in perfume ads, but who really knows? With Lynch at the helm, anything can happen.